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Are you struggling with pleasing yourself rather than pleasing God?



A healthy habitat for help, hope & healing

Transformed lives whose focus is to live out the Gospel of Jesus Christ

SOR is a global Christian organization that helps those individuals who desire to be delivered from homosexuality but struggle with their flesh. We aim to equip individuals to live according to morals and values rooted and grounded in biblical principles.

Sanctuary offers a safe space for spiritual growth and open discussions. SOR is not only a membership-based organization, but we are a family. Providing support services for individuals ages 18 and older and supporting additional family members to help navigate various topics.
Sanctuary of Refuge wants to assist those individuals who desire to live free from the bondage of homosexuality in controlling their lives. Many men and women throughout this country struggle with these "unwanted desires," and it seems there's no escape. The word of God tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:13, "The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure".   

Sanctuary aims to provide a healthy and safe environment for men and women seeking restoration, recovery, and rest through weekly support group sessions. We believe and acknowledge that the word of God is clear and without error regarding the design of all human sexuality.

The porn industry did not create sexual sin. This problem has plagued the earth since the beginning of history, and it will be around until Christ returns to establish His new kingdom. The exciting news is that the word of God guarantees and promises that we can experience victory in the here and now.

Paul the Apostle commands the Christians in Colossae, "Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature; sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, and greed, which is idolatry" (Colossians 3:5). What exactly is Paul saying? And how are we to do this?  

1. Fighting sexual sin has nothing to do with "trying harder."
•    All human sexuality is a gift from God (Genesis 2:24-25)
•    God's mandate for sexuality was to protect something precious, not deny something pleasant (Exodus 20:14, 1 Corinthians 6:14)

2. Fighting sexual sin starts with a "new identity."
•    The biblical account states that "all" humanity was made in the image of God (Genesis 1:26-27)
•    We are the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21)
•    We have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self (Colossians 3:9-10)
•    With Christ, you died to the elemental spirits of the world (Colossians 2:20)
•    We have been raised with Christ (Colossians 3:1)
•    We are a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17)

3. Fighting sexual sin involves cultivating "new desires."
•    Our mind is the greatest gift God has given us. Is your mind on the things of God, or is it being challenged? (Isaiah 26:3)
•    We are one with Christ. Therefore we center, focus, and fix our thoughts on Him. (Colossians 3:1-4)

4. Fighting sexual sin requires a "healthy mindset."
Some have said, "It's possible to be so heavenly-minded that we have no earthly good." Let's be honest. When you look closely at the church's history, the most heavenly-minded made the most significant impact.  

What are some other benefits of God-centered thinking? First, take a look at Philippians 4:8–9:
•    Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
Paul says thinking about the right things and practicing them brings the peace of God—the very presence of God in our lives (v. 9). Many are missing the manifest presence of God in their lives because they have ungodly thinking, which eventually leads to ungodly practice.
Paul says that the way a person thinks is an indicator both of his salvation and his fruitfulness. Listen to what he says:
•    Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires, but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace (Rom. 8:5–6).

5. Fighting sexual sin requires a life of "continual discipline."
It takes work! Colossians 3:1 says, "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above." The word 'set' implies action; you have to do something. It does not happen by accident. You can only accomplish this by applying your Spirit (mind), body, and soul. Unfortunately, Satan constantly attacks the believer's mind with fear, doubt, confusion, and worldly thoughts. He wants to keep the believer from focusing on what matters, and the Kingdom of God is at the center of our thoughts.


Overcoming homosexuality is not an easy task. The essential element is "developing a heavenly mindset, " which centers its focus on God and His kingdom. Isaiah 26:3 says, "People with their minds set on You, You keep completely whole; steady on their feet because they keep at it and don't quit. Depend on God and keep at it because you have a sure thing."
•    Correct thinking leads to experiencing the manifest presence of God in your life (Philippians 4:8-9)
•    Godly living begins with godly thinking (Colossians 3:1-4)  
•    Godly thinking brings peace (Romans 8:6)

Sanctuary dedicates, upholds, and defends the honor, dignity, and value of the two sexes-- male and female – each bringing unique and harmonious qualities to human sexuality and relationships. We agree with human sexuality as a glorious gift from God – designed to be returned to Him either in marriage for procreation or in celibacy for undivided devotion to Jesus Christ. Homosexual behavior defies, disregards, degrades, and disrupts God's intentional design for gender and sexuality.

Sanctuary strives to approach this issue with love, truth, diligence, and humility. We know that all sin has affected each of us in our sexuality and relationships. While we do not believe an individual typically "chooses" their same-sex attractions, we do believe that those who struggle with unwanted same-sex desires can choose to navigate their lives in a way that aligns with God's design for human sexuality. It's a reasonable goal for all individuals who seek help from an organization that stands on the life-changing word of God.  

Sanctuary affirms and confirms the Scriptural teaching that those individuals struggling with homosexuality can change and do change their sexual behavior and identity (1 Cor. 6:9-11 NLT).

9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals,[a] nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11, and such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.

In the process, some also discover their attractions are gradually changing. So individuals should have the availability of being surrounded by others who struggle and their desire to be set free from unwanted desires. 
Sanctuary doesn't advocate, affirm, or approve any particular religious, psychiatric, or psychological approach as the "one and only" way to change same-sex attractions and eradicate behaviors. God is creative in bringing healing and transformation to us and uses a collection of means. Just as multiple paths may lead a person to experience same-sex attractions, there are various ways out. Christian counselors and the word of God are vehicles to discern and pursue the most appropriate approach that enables them to steward individuals toward their God-given sexuality in alignment with our Heavenly Father's original design.

Article by,
Zachary Wayne Lavender
Revised – May 2023

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